Last Saturday we had our Gazette Christmas party at The Crawfish Barn. David Ortego, our fine publisher, asked me how the Gazette parties compared to the ones we had at the Clerk’s Office. That gave me an idea for this edition of The Marks Post.
While Walter Lee was in office, we would huddle around in the office about 2:00 on the last day we worked before the Christmas break. We would give him the usual pair of coveralls and a gift card for a manicure and pedicure, and he and Velma Bernard would give each of us deputy clerks a present. J.L. Brignac would bring a small ice chest with beer, and we’d eat chips and dip and other finger foods. It was never anything too exciting.
I remember some excitement one year when we gave J.L. a brand new gumbo pot. We were cleaning the office after the party, and he went put the pot in his truck. After he left the office, we heard a loud commotion and a litany of curse words. We all went out to see what had happened. J.L. dropped the glass lid to the pot, and there was glass everywhere. He exclaimed, “It broke into 6 million pieces.”
When Randy Deshotel took office, the Christmas parties moved to his house, and those who were married brought their spouses. Everybody brought a dish to the parties, and our boss provided a gumbo and the tequila.
A few weeks before the first party at his house, I was watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. There is a scene in the movie when Clark Griswold is in his kitchen wearing a road Chicago Blackhawks jersey. At the time, I was debating on buying a hockey jersey just for the heck of it, so I went online and ordered me a customized Blackhawk’s jersey with Griswold 00 on the back. It came in just in time for the party. It later became a tradition for me to wear the jersey on road trips to LSU Bowl games like the Peach Bowl against Clemson and the Outback Bowl against Iowa. That’s an idea for another column.
One other little story is about a certain Christmas ornament that Randy Deshotel had on his tree. He was big into raising cattle and was a member of the Rancher’s Association, and he had an ornament of a steer. I looked at the thing and asked if that was the golden calf from Exodus. I blame it on the tequila.
The best story about the Christmas parties at his house is about the one I didn’t go to. Back in November of that year, KVPI was running a contest on Facebook to win a date with a certain host of the morning show at the time. All I’m going to say is that it wasn’t Randy Guillory. The way that the contest worked was that if you liked and/or shared the post then you had a chance to win a date with her to the KVPI Christmas party.
I was tailgating for the last LSU game and started telling some people about the contest. As a joke, I decided to enter, so I liked and/or shared the post. I was sitting in court a Monday or so later and got a text from her that I won the contest. The problem was it was the same night as the Clerk’s party. We agreed that the most logical plan was that I would go with her to her party and that she would go with me to mine.
On the day of the party, I ran to Lafayette to get my usual party tray from Rouse’s for the Clerk’s party. While there I also got a good bottle of rum. I knew I needed to get my date a present, so I bought her some red solo cup shot glasses. Classy, right?
She picked me up at my house that December 7 night, and we went to Nick’s on Main. I knew just about everybody at the KVPI party because I went to the office enough to pick up my prizes from winning the Impossible Question, so I didn’t feel awkward or out of place. I fit right in talking to Dave Gracin about country music and talking to Randy Guillory about the state of Ole Miss Football.
The party started after we ate and after Mark Layne gave out his awards, and Swabby started doing his Elvis impersonations. I was watching the clock because people from the Clerk’s party were texting me to see where I was.
At some point we left the KVPI party to get in her car. When we got in the parking lot of Nick’s on Main, we saw that her window was smashed in along with some other cars that were parked next to her. Stolen were a DVD player that was a Christmas present for her kid and my bottle of rum. I was honestly more concerned about the rum.
She was obviously shaken up, and people came from the party to see about her. I was more concerned about how I was going to get home. I almost started walking. Anyway, the cops showed up and made a report, and somebody eventually brought me home later that night. Needless to say, I didn’t make it to the Clerk’s party.
She and I stayed in contact for a while after that, but it fizzled out. We never went on a second date. I don’t know if she ever got her red solo cup shot glasses, but at least I had me a Christmas date.
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Tony Marks